Sometimes though, a game is so dire that extremely fancy wording is needed to try and liven up the "features". So without further ado, I inversed the steam store metacritic rating and started reading through games I had no intention of playing. All ingame pics are courtesy of the store page, cherry picked for their awesome example of the game.
The cast ring their one shared agent to try and find a way out.
1) Grey's Anatomy - Metacritic 36/100
- Play as the Stars. For the first time ever, play as Meredith, Derek, Cristina or any of your favorite cast members, with 3-D character models based on the original TV actors' likenesses. See the state of Seattle Grace Hospital's cast as it deals with one of the worst crises in the hospital's history!
- Influence the Storyline. Influence character dialogue and make critical decisions that affect the outcome of the storyline and the state of the hospital.
- Perform Surgeries. Take hold of your mouse to perform multi-step surgeries as you tackle life or death situations in the operating room.
- Accessible Gameplay. User-friendly interface and innovative gameplay takes advantage of the freedom of the mouse.
The Steam Store page thought a pumping factory with no action or player onscreen best advertised this game. So much so there's three pictures of standard buildings out of the six on offer.
2) Damnation - Metacritic 41/100
- Choose your own paths and navigate the world by performing daredevil feats on the edge of human ability.
- Intelligent enemies will give chase and engage players in frantic gun fights and attacks that can come from any direction.
- Miles of awe-inspiring landscapes and up to three hours of actual gameplay per level.
As this is turning out longer than I thought for a one off piece, I'm leaving it here whilst I go and search for some more bad store blurbs.