Boring text, not many pictures

This will not interest you. But I'm putting it here as I have bad luck with computers and loss of data and plus it'll help me despair of myself when I come to view it in the future. So without much further ado here's a story I wrote for my creative writing class at uni, which I was trying to eclipse the young teenage market that JK Rowling and co captured so well but I think I ended up making something incredilby lame. Apologies.

This panda wishes to apologise for what you may read.

Here we go -

There are few things that this boy remembers about growing up. He remembers at a young age, he’s not sure when, of being left with his aunt and unofficial uncle one day, his parents happily going for the weekend to a, a party or something? To some little obscurely placed get together he thinks it was. And he’s tried so many times before to remember the months and years in any coherent detail after seeing them last. He recalls the last moment he saw them, his mother giving him a metal toy car, and his dad treating him with a £5 note. He can’t even remember their last words.


But that was a long time ago. He’s older now, a teenager even.
This boy’s name is Terry.


Reverently he placed the lid back on a small box containing a miniature Ford Mustang and £3.67 in change. Anyone watching with a mind for clich├ęs would’ve expected him to sigh or look sad as he did so; rather he carefully returned it to its place hidden amongst the debris of his wardrobe#.

Terry was shocked at the lack of guilt he felt, that he no longer sensed anything at the memory. It was more a reminder to him nowadays than anything else, a reminder of what life might’ve been like, what it was.
His mind was racing. It was his 16th Birthday and already he was thinking thoughts that would impress Plato himself!
Hah! If only, that was just his ego kicking in. And he was uncertain anyway about Ancient Greek philosophers, with something fundamentally wrong to him about having fully clothed ladies yet naked men on their pottery. He was a teenage boy after all; thoughts and appreciation of naked women came with the hormones. He then smiled slightly to himself, before heading downstairs in literal leaps and bounds.

Glancing at him people would describe him as being of middling height with dark blonde hair, which was neither fair nor dirty. He wasn’t heavily built either, rather slight and stretched a little, but from the way he flung himself down the stairs it was clear he had some athletic attributes.

This apparent athleticism forever puzzled his sports teachers; as Terry always played badly during the sports trials and so they’d pegged him down as not being worthy of their attention. This arrangement suited both parties just fine. Terry had free time and wasn’t committed to anything outside of school hours, and the sports teachers didn’t have to contend with Terry’s stubbornness. It was something he felt proud of, as though it was one little victory over the school bureaucracy’s intrusion into his life, rather than just the inventful laziness and skiving it probably was.

It’s not clear then till closer analysis, but it suffices to say Terry is mildly eccentric. And that’s only putting it mildly.


Why the fuck did his birthday have to be on a bloody school day of all days? It wasn’t as if he cared that much about his birthdays anymore, but just because he wasn’t that bothered about it didn’t mean that he should be entitled to an extra day off. The bastards.

This time he really did sigh as he waited for his toast. Sometimes he hated himself. Any time he thought bad thoughts about his aunt and uncle he did more so. They’d been good to him through the years, and though childless themselves had accept him as one of their own.

As the toast popped out Terry began to butter it as he wondered what the hell his life was leading up to really. And then thought what he really wanted was fame, but no actually he wanted to be understated but appreciated, no a legend in his own time, no no wait! Happily married and with love. No wait, go back one.
It was like having 3 voices at any given time in his head, with two competing for attention and a middle one trying to make sense of it all in the cross fire. Lost amidst it all was whatever part of himself that was himself, the part of him that ultimately decided. Then he had the added several further voices of hormones telling him to eat, procreate, grow, procreate, rest, hunt, procreate and procreate. It all led to a rather confusing committee by Terry’s book.

Hell, he was envious of those who could think with just one voice, and though dumb to some, to Terry those people who achieved it deserved higher accolade. It must be so much ruddy easier he thought bitterly, throwing toast deftly across the room onto his plate, to be able to just think and do rather than think and debate.

One of the pieces skittered off the plate and landed on the floor, where sods law stated it must land on the buttered side when you really least want it to. Terry swore again, this time out loud and started to scrape butter off the kitchen floor. Just another day, nothing noteworthy about it to hardly mark it out as a birthday apart from a smattering of presents left on his bed this morning. Otherwise same old routine, no special time to be had. It just made Terry reflect on his life as an unspecial person yearning for something more. Though he wished school were closed still.


Yet in only a few hours, he’d start to realise how wrong he was.
He is special.
Just not in a way he could have dreamed of.


Two doors down Portsol street from Terry’s buttering escapades a phone was ringing amidst the debris of another teenager’s bedroom. A scrunched up duvet with limbs sprouting from it indicated a bed with what may well be a person under its covers. An arm that was dangling down the side of the bed flopped into life and started patting around the bedside table looking for the source of this early morning annoyance, before closing around it and bringing it next to a half awake ear.

“Jenbear it’s time to get up for school! I left a bowl of cereal and some orange juice next to your bed and some snacks on the counter to take with you”
“Kay mum”
“Please get up, my morning’s stressful enough without worrying you’ve gotten to school on time-”
“Ok ok I’m up I’m up!”
“Ok darling I‘ve got to go, traffic‘s moving again. Remember I love you!”
“Love you too mum”

Dropping the phone on the bedside table once more the figure turned over to sleep on its other side. After 5 minutes more of peaceful slumber the phone once more started vibrating its way across the bedside table, waking the sleeping occupant who groaned and reached over to answer.

“Urgh, hello?”
“Jenny Jenny Jenny Jenny Jenny Jenny Jenny Jenny-”
“God shut up Terry”
“What’s the matter Jennywenny? Still asleep? Now I know you feel many pricks, and should by those grounds be resting for a billion years oh sleeping beauty, but we’ve got school to get to”
“Piss off Terry”
“Not into that I’m afraid Jen. Aww come now, is that anyway to speak to a friend?”
“Haha I know you don’t mean that. Anyway wake up! I’m outside your door. Don’t make me run upstairs to rouse you again”
“You have too much energy for the morning”
“I know! Great isn’t it?”

Hanging up the phone Jenny roused herself and stumbled over to her wardrobe, flinging on a top and picking some jeans from the floor before attacking her shoulder-length dark brown hair with a brush. Satisfied that most she’d gotten rid of the worst of the bed head she proceeded to apply hey only makeup; eyeliner to help frame her deep brilliantly green eyes.

Slumping downstairs she grabbed the bag of snacks left for her and examined its contents. Great, non-sugar everything. Everyday she craved something sweet but being diabetic this was a big nono apparently. At least these days with her diabetes she could check her levels without Terry making a penile joke involving pricks and making her bleed. That boy could be so predictable. Steeling herself at the front door, she prepared to greet the wave of bouncy immatureness.
Stepping out she found no-one was there. “Terry I’m not in the mood, I’ve got a headache so can you please just come out? I’m not moving from this doorway till you show yourself”. She leant her shoulder on the doorframe and slumped, arms folded, facing outward to see where he’d emerge from. At times like this she wanted to punch him so badly, but when he wasn’t trying to be funny or play pranks he was actually kindof sweet and endearing. It drove her insane, and some days she really liked him whilst others she could push him off a cliff. Maybe it was lo-


Despite expecting him to emerge she was still shocked, so much so she jumped and swung around to involuntarily slap him before she realised what she was doing. “Oww, what did you do that for?” he asked, mock-nursing his cheek which had turned bright red. The top of her head came up level with his chin, making it harder to tell someone off who looks down at you.
“How the hell did you get behind me?!”
“I jumped over the gate and came in through the garden. I got you good there though”
“And I got to slap you, I guess we both win. Come on, lets just get this walk over with”
“I wish you’d admit you liked me sometimes, all I ever get is abuse in return”
“Alright I like you, but you deserve that abuse and you know it”
“Yeah, but I’m just a rascally scamp really. At least I don’t pay to get abused like your customers do”
“Shut up Terry”


As they rounded the end of the street on which the school was, they could see a multitude gathering outside the school gates which were closed for some reason. Terry decided to rush up and push through to the front while Jenny hung back. “Budge out the way! What’s going on guys?” Terry asked as he managed to get to the front of the crowd, who were standing in front of a notice hung on the gates.
“Apparently there was a big fire last night, not been enough time for them to set up alternative classrooms so we get the day off! Isn’t this cool?” Mark, his on again off again friend was standing in the crowd next to where Terry had managed to push to. “What are you going to do with your day off?” Terry was genuinely baffled, he’d wished for the school to be closed but hadn’t really planned for the eventuality.
“Err, I don’t really know. It’s my birthday, what do you suggest we do?”
“Dunno. School will probs be on again tomorrow and we don’t have a place for a big party. What do you feel like doing?”
“I haven’t a clue, I just wish there was something different we could do. You know, fun.”

Terry spun around as car honked and someone called him, Mark and Jenny over. Pushing his way out through the crowd in reverse (who were all straining to see the notice on the gates) he could see Pete sitting in a cheap land rover with Michelle next to him and Jenny standing by the drivers window. Pete was a good friend of his, from the year above. Whereas Terry’s birthday was late in the school year, Pete’s was early and had passed his driving test a month ago. They’d become good friends as Michelle was Pete’s girlfriend, and she was good friends with Jenny and so they’d all invariably ended up hanging out together.
“Hullo Terry! Saw you guys looking glum over there so thought I’d throw a little idea in the air. Seeming as school is out and it’s your birthday, and seeming as I have a car me and Michelle thought we’d treat you all to a journey. Up for it? I guess you can come too Mark.”
“So kind”
“What Mark meant to say was we’re up for it. You ok with it Jen?”
“I don’t see why not”
“Good, we‘re agreed. So where you taking us Pete?”
“Ah, that’s where the fun comes in. You guys heard of the band UrOnics yes?”
“Fuck yes we have. You’re not shitting me are you?”
“Well, they’re bound to play in Sheffield tonight, and my cousin happens to be a manager at Sheffield arena. I rang him and he said no problems about letting us in”
“Wow! If I were a less heterosexual guy right now I’d kiss you”
“Save your sap and get in then”

Jenny was elected to go in the middle seeming as she was the smallest, with Terry and Mark either side of her. “Look more comfortable Jen, you’re inbetween two guys! Your natural habitat” Jenny just sighed and rolled her eyes before starting to talk excitedly to Mark and Michelle. He always enjoyed his own jokes even if no-one else did. He couldn’t believe how well this day was going, and he’d only been up less than two hours. Maybe he shouldn’t lose hope on birthdays just yet after all, the coincidences so far had been amazing. He leant forward over the shoulder of Mark’s seat to talk to him.

“You know it’s so weird you offering us this just now”
“Well aint I just a generous bastard”
“No no, I mean today I woke up praying school would be closed and lo presto, and then I wished for something to do and there you pop up with your little offer.”
“Yeah, well, can I tell you a little secret Tezza?”
“Sure Pete” He lent closer to Terry and whispered, as he started to get the car into gear. “I happen to know for a fact who set fire to the school” He tapped his nose and winked “And I doubt they did it because of some birthday wish okay?”
“Yeah yeah, just me being a fool. Birthday wishes? I mean how bloody stupid do you get?”

Still, as the car set off, he couldn’t shake the naggling thought from his mind that maybe there was something going on today because of his birthday. He also wondered how Pete knew who’d set fire to the school, it had only happened last night after all, but whoever it was he wanted to thank greatly. It couldn’t be Pete, as he spent last night with Michelle. He had a feeling this day was only getting started.


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